he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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