when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
Randomize