It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
