You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Randomize
