my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Randomize
