I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Randomize
