in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
