dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
Randomize
