Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Randomize
