I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
They are going to name an STD after you.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
Randomize
