I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
