covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
