I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize
