At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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