At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
I enjoy the company of your penis
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize