do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Randomize
