Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
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