Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
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