so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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