so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
Randomize
