so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
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