Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
