I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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