I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
Randomize