so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
operation have a gay friend backfired
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
