we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
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