her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
Randomize
