shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
Randomize
