oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize
