it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
and you fell through a lawn chair
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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