Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
can u get pink eye on your cock?
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
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