i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize
