I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Randomize
