i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
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