Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
Randomize
