He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
