i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
