I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
