One girl and one boy is just not enough.
wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
Randomize
