yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
Randomize
