Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
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