So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
Randomize
