And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize