No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Randomize
