i always forget guys have bellybuttons
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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