hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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