Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Randomize
