Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
Randomize
