You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Randomize
