420 ftw
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
Dear god my vagina.
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