covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Randomize
