I scissor kicked a one legged man last night.
He was trying to put me in handcuffs.
You have my attention.
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
