doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
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