so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
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