I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
Randomize