the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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