Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
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