I am in a vortex of obligation.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Randomize
