Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
