Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
Randomize
