brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
not ubering you a puppy
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
Randomize
