We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Randomize
