garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
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